What UX job posts say vs what they mean.
(Company names withheld to protect the innocent, plus some of these would have about 100 company names behind them.)
- We have transparent communication.
- All our applicants want to work somewhere that management won’t lie to them so we’ve started saying we have this.
- We care about work/life balance.
- All our applicants ask about this so we try not to tell them that we’re going to start them with only two weeks’ vacation at a senior level job.
- We give you a long weekend once a month / once a quarter and we think that even though we have full control over the date, that extra set of days off is plenty of flexibility in your work/life balance.
- The company is now looking to onboard their first ever Senior Product Designer.
- Our VCs told us our product looks and behaves like shit. We’re looking for someone to blame.
- You will own the end-to-end design across multiple products.
- We’d like to work you to death.
- We’re looking for the brain of an engineer with the heart of a UX practitioner.
- We think engineers are antisocial assholes and UX practitioners are bleeding-heart ignoramuses.
- This is a high-energy fast-paced environment with new challenges every day.
- We’re understaffed, disorganized, and proud of it.
- We are the first consumer fintech product whose creators are aligned with its users.
- We’ve never heard of Jack Bogle.
- We’re similarly unaware of the other 20+ fintech companies with the same claim in their job descriptions.
- We offer free lunches.
- Please oh please come back to the office so we can justify the money for this building lease.
- We are transforming the financial services industry using Blockchain, crypto, NFTs, etc.
- Please help us with our Ponzi scheme.
- You must be familiar with Lean Design.
- Our C-level folks never got past the word Lean. While proper Lean Design means testing hypotheses, we use Lean Design to mean “you won’t be given time to do either front-end or back-end research on the results. Forget most of those other UX steps too.”
- You will drive the product copy.
- Content Designer? What’s that?
- We are looking for a senior product designer with 1 year experience.
- We refuse to hire an entry-level person. They have cooties.
