Five things I wish I could do:
- Indicate to stores that try to resell me things I bought in the past (Amazon, Wegmans Instacart, looking at you) that I never want them to sell me the disgusting / broken / incorrectly advertised / crap thing again. I don’t want to be offered it. I don’t want to see it. Those frozen sweet potatoes are dead to me.
- Convince Safari on the iPhone that when I say “Don’t save this password for this site ever” I mean “ever” and not “please prompt me again the next time which will be in 20 minutes because I’m playing email tag with this doctor.”
- Blast email all the car dealerships that I contacted when I was looking for a car with a “found it!” message so they don’t call me every three months hoping I’m coming back. And actually have them listen.
- Remove the phrase “But Google does it!” from the lips of every PM, designer, researcher, and executive who doesn’t work at Google. I don’t care what Google does, I’m not working at Google. If Google jumps off a bridge, are we going to too? (Note: question null and void for Bing, since at least as far as LMMs are concerned the answer appears to be yes. Hope you packed your parachutes.)
- Work a design job where lunch was not only respected but expected. That’s actually on me — I have to be more of a bear about protecting my time.
And one shout-out to the lady who has been working for the siding company for eight years and has called every spring to see if this is the year we’re going to re-side the house: your tenacity and organization astounds me. May we all have the guts to keep calling even when the answer has been no for eight years straight. I’ll talk to you next spring.
